Monday, 28 February 2011
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
An Elephant!
A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee. From time to time, he rips a piece off, ripping that piece into smaller ones and throwing them out the window. A passenger standing near him asks:
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I’m chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren’t elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I’m chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren’t elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!
Granny!
an 80 year old women is planning on killing herself, so she takes her gun and calls her doctor to see exactly where her heart was and he says its right under her left breast. 3 minutes later there was a 911 call the an 80 year old woman shot herself in the knee.
Yo Mama So Fat...TV
Yo mama is so fat that she walked in front of the TV and I missed an entire two-hour special episode of Saturday Night Live.
Funny lol...!
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Hello, I would like to be castrated."
"That's a lifechanging operation," says the doctor. "Are you sure you want to do it?"
"yes," says the man. "and if you refuse I'll go to another doctor."
"OK," says the doctor, "but it's against my advice."
So the man has his operation and he's walking around the hospital the next day with a bandage around his private area. Suddenly, he sees another man with the same thing. So he walks up to him and says, "Good afternoon, I see we got the same operation."
"Yes," says the other man, looking happy. "I've been wanting to get circumsized for 37 years, and I've finally done it.
The first man looks panicked and says, "Shit!! That's the word!"
"That's a lifechanging operation," says the doctor. "Are you sure you want to do it?"
"yes," says the man. "and if you refuse I'll go to another doctor."
"OK," says the doctor, "but it's against my advice."
So the man has his operation and he's walking around the hospital the next day with a bandage around his private area. Suddenly, he sees another man with the same thing. So he walks up to him and says, "Good afternoon, I see we got the same operation."
"Yes," says the other man, looking happy. "I've been wanting to get circumsized for 37 years, and I've finally done it.
The first man looks panicked and says, "Shit!! That's the word!"
Thursday, 9 September 2010
This Is Really Funny
Check This Out....
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps,
MENtal breakdown,
MENopause,
GUYnecologist…..
And when we have REAL trouble, it's a... HISterectomy
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps,
MENtal breakdown,
MENopause,
GUYnecologist…..
And when we have REAL trouble, it's a... HISterectomy
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
Car, Men, Tits And Golf....
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
A Lawyer, an Economist, And a Teacher
A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to piss on my hands."
A Lawyer, an Economist, And a Teacher
A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to piss on my hands."
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